I go to Uni. All around me there are swarms of dedicated, involved, and extracurricular-focused students. There are so many activities that people have the opportunity to participate in: sports, theatre, various clubs -- you name it, someone is doing it. Many people have had one of these focuses for a good part of their life, and it doesn't surprise me when one of my peers says that they've been doing something for six, seven, or eight years. Everyone seems to have an activity (extracurricular-wise) that they've been doing for a substantial amount of time.
However, I'm not really one of those people. I don't say this to set myself apart from others in a haughty way (How would that even work? "Haha, I don't do anything!") -- far from it. This is something that has been consistently bothering me for the last year or so. Being worried about not "doing anything" has coincided with the time that my teachers and parents have been talking about college in a serious manner.
I can't count the amount of times that our local SSO advisor has drilled into us that "doing so many extracurricular activities isn't what's important," but it's impossible for me not to worry about not really participating in any extracurricular activities. Most of my friends have told me, "C'mon, there's something that you're totally passionate about!" This isn't the issue that I have! I love engineering, computer science is cool as heck, and astronomy is scary amazing; it's very easy to see that there's a trend with scientific fields and I.
I have a feeling most people don't know that about me, and that's what gives me the most anxiety when we start talking about writing college applications, and creating good resumes. If no one in my immediate surrounding can tell what some of my passions are, how am I going to be able to articulate them to an admissions officers who doesn't know me at all?
Until recently (around freshman year), I haven't been able to nail down any construtive activities any of these passions. I've participated in GEMS (Gains in Engineering, Math, and Science) camp, GAMES (Girls' Adventures in Math, Engineering, and Science) camp, and have had some awesome opportunities to visit local labs. This shows some of my interest and that I'm willing to try new things, but any other experience I've had with STEM subjects has come from personal research and messing around with computers. I honestly feel that I have very little to show for my involvement in STEM, and that's going to become a major problem once I narrow down a list of colleges and get to actually writing applications.
It also might help to narrow my interests down, and not just say "uh, like, engineering and computer science is cool" when someone asks me about potential majors. I know, know: "So many students go in undeclared all the time, you shouldn't be freaking out about it!" Well, I'm going to have to freak out about it at some point, and why not now, when college is only looming on the horizon and not when I'm actually in college? It's a difficult thing that I may have to come to terms with.
I'm not doomed, hopefully! Now that I have the wherewithal (time, "good grades", pretty good work ethic, and an A-okay from my parents) to actually participate in extracurriculars, I hope to discover an intense passion for which I can write about and account for. Until then, I will keep worrying.
